when worlds collide...its confusing.

Growing up, boys played a major role in my life. Through the age of 6 years-old up till when I was 10 years-old, I recall that most of my friends were mostly guys and maybe thats why I can relate to them and understand part of why they do things a certain way and what not. However, this mutual understanding of behavior and communication stops there. It is rather unfortunate that I cannot posses such ability to evaluate why communication is still a constant restraint for two people to commicate. Nonetheless, aside from gender being a major factor in communicating, culture also influences communication.

As i've mentioned, from what I noticed back in my childhood days, boys would tend to approach conflicts differently compared to girls. Studies have proven that children from preschool up to early adolscence have noticed that boys are more likely to be aggressive, demanding and competitive, whereas, girls would suggest propals for action. Verbal aggression and expressing themselves physically are some of the ways boys 'solve' conflicts. Moreover, the girls would scream, throw tantrums and most annoyingly whine.

However, these differences between both sexes still continue as we grow as adults. Men seem to think they have to sustain their ego and power by expressing themselves physically and worst yet, we have to endure listening to them cuss their way through frustration. Whats up with that? Alright, I do have a thing for cocky, 'men' men who occasionally swears to vent out, but all the time? It might be asking too much to sit down and listen but, we, women would love it if men talk. At least its a dyadic communication. Metacommunication is rare in relationships but it helps a lot at times. Although, men can't always be blamed as women too have their major flaws. During excruciating times in the relationships, women too would use verbal abuse, get physical and one of our main habits is to give the cold shoulder.

Furthermore, conflict not only ignites difficulty in communicating because of differences in gender, however, culture also plays an influential role on conflict. It is known ethinicty shapes a communicator's preferred conflict style ,whereby, those with strong cultural identitites tend to communicate more with those of the weaker cultural ties. The assertiveness between these two cultures differs too as the low-context culture and high-context culture is another factor that sets them apart. Low-context culture finds it very important that when communicating, messages should be direct and lateral, whereas, the high-context culture values self-restraint and has a tendency to 'beat around the bush'. This is perhaps why, the Americans find it hard to tolerate holding a conversation with Asians who 'beat around the bush'.

With these differences being the barrier between a good relationship, its no wonder how a relationship between two individuals of different cultural background would have trouble finding a conflict sytle that suits both parties.