Last post? haha..to be honest, I'm happy bout it :D..I don't really like to blogg ..
For my group I will definitely miss everyone, bala, sean, chirag, sheac yee, and of course fatinnnnnnnnnnn... I guess I will miss your english accent.. fatinnnn :D
Lastly, thanks human com for giving me knowledges and providing improvement for me.. and of course, a very special thanks to Mr.Murali..you are a cool guy overall.. generally, I like your way of teaching unlike other lecturers..it is like.. more outgoing? =D
Goooooooooooooooodbye human comm @.@
Steven Chan Chun Yean
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Good leaders are in high demand and with plenty of career opportunities. That’s because good leaders are recognized as a valuable asset to any company or as a role model. So what makes a successful and effective leader? Leadership styles are learned from mentors and keys to successful leadership are often kept secret. Excellent leaders seam to be born but beyond the inherent natural ability they have, they spend years perfecting and developing those skills. You might say a combination of nature and nurture. Successful leaders have some specific traits that make them effective leaders. One of the most important characteristics to a leader simple and direct, and that is the personal decision to become a leader. The personal decision that you want to provide others with vision and inspire them to do more and do better. Someone once said it very simply. “A successful leader must choose to lead.” The question remains whether successful and effective leaders are born or grown, and are they a result of nature or nurture?
- chirag mehta-
A group is defined as small set of people who interact with each other, usually face to face, over time in order to reach goals. There are four types of groups which are learning groups, growth groups, problem-solving groups, and social groups. A clear example of social group is facebook. Facebook was founded by Mark Zuckerberg and his fellow roommates Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes while he was a student at Harvard University. Website membership was initially limited to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges in the Boston area, the Ivy League, and Stanford University. It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over. The website currently has more than 175 million active users worldwide. Facebook recently surpassed MySpace in amount of visitors, making Facebook the number 1 social network, followed by MySpace and Friendster. Facebook users may choose to join one or more networks, organized by city, workplace, school, and region. These networks help users connect with members of the same network. Users can also connect with friends, giving them access to their friends' profiles. The website is free to users, but generates revenue from advertising. Users can create profiles including photos and lists of personal interests, exchange private or public messages, and join groups of friends. Facebook is now the best social group webpage.
- chirag mehta-
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Listening and Hearing
What are the differences between listening and hearing?
According to dictionary.com Listening is defined as the effort to hear something and paying attentition.. while Hearing is defined as the faculty or sense by which sound is perceived or the act of perceiving sound..
Recently, I have do a research on types of listening mode and there are 3 types of Listening mode and let me introduce it to you..
1) Competitive or combative listening (it is one of the term used in our human comm class called AMBUSHING) -this happens when you are voicing out your point of view rather then listening to others and understand them. We listen openly to others to find other ppl's weak point so that we can attack.
2) Passive or attentive listening -this explains that we are more interested in hearing others and understanding the others point of view.
3)Active and Reflective Listening - In active listening we are interested in understanding what the other person is thinking, feeling, wanting or what the message means, and we are active in checking out our understanding before we respond with our own new message.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Gender prejudice
Do you sometimes find yourself saying, "Oh, it's not fair the boys always get to…" or "The girls always get to…" ? Well be careful, because that is gender prejudice. What do you want to do when you grow up?
º But that has changed now. Lots more girls are going into jobs in engineering, medicine, science, sales and just about anything you can think of that girls were never given the chance to do.
º Boys wouldn't go into 'girls' jobs, like nursing, teaching, hairdressing, modelling because they were thought to be not jobs for 'real' men!
Why? Well, it was thought that it would be a waste of time and money for girls to do any job that needed a lot of time to learn, because girls would get married, have children then stay home to look after them.Nowadays anyone can do any job if they have the training and the strength to do it.
In many countries, everyone can choose what they want to do, and employers choose the best person for the job whether that person is male or female.
Of course there are still some countries where females are not expected to work outside the home.
Steven Chan
Racial Prejudice
In the 'olden days' maybe it was understandable that people would be afraid of another group of people who looked different, had a different religion and did things in a different way, because most people lived and died in the place where they were born.
People who always lived in the same place with others like them might fear that people who looked or acted differently may want their land or may want to hurt them in some way.
Nowadays, because people travel a lot, or go to live in a completely different country, or go to school with lots of people from different places, we should learn to respect each other's differences.But sometimes these fears from the 'olden days' are sort of passed along in families, and a kid may find that he is being prejudiced against someone of a different race, even though he doesn't know that person. If some people watch something on the news or in a movie which shows someone of a different race or culture doing something bad, then they may choose to think that all people of that race are bad people. How silly is that?
Steven Chan Chun Yean
Saturday, February 21, 2009
when worlds collide...its confusing.
Growing up, boys played a major role in my life. Through the age of 6 years-old up till when I was 10 years-old, I recall that most of my friends were mostly guys and maybe thats why I can relate to them and understand part of why they do things a certain way and what not. However, this mutual understanding of behavior and communication stops there. It is rather unfortunate that I cannot posses such ability to evaluate why communication is still a constant restraint for two people to commicate. Nonetheless, aside from gender being a major factor in communicating, culture also influences communication.
As i've mentioned, from what I noticed back in my childhood days, boys would tend to approach conflicts differently compared to girls. Studies have proven that children from preschool up to early adolscence have noticed that boys are more likely to be aggressive, demanding and competitive, whereas, girls would suggest propals for action. Verbal aggression and expressing themselves physically are some of the ways boys 'solve' conflicts. Moreover, the girls would scream, throw tantrums and most annoyingly whine.
However, these differences between both sexes still continue as we grow as adults. Men seem to think they have to sustain their ego and power by expressing themselves physically and worst yet, we have to endure listening to them cuss their way through frustration. Whats up with that? Alright, I do have a thing for cocky, 'men' men who occasionally swears to vent out, but all the time? It might be asking too much to sit down and listen but, we, women would love it if men talk. At least its a dyadic communication. Metacommunication is rare in relationships but it helps a lot at times. Although, men can't always be blamed as women too have their major flaws. During excruciating times in the relationships, women too would use verbal abuse, get physical and one of our main habits is to give the cold shoulder.
Furthermore, conflict not only ignites difficulty in communicating because of differences in gender, however, culture also plays an influential role on conflict. It is known ethinicty shapes a communicator's preferred conflict style ,whereby, those with strong cultural identitites tend to communicate more with those of the weaker cultural ties. The assertiveness between these two cultures differs too as the low-context culture and high-context culture is another factor that sets them apart. Low-context culture finds it very important that when communicating, messages should be direct and lateral, whereas, the high-context culture values self-restraint and has a tendency to 'beat around the bush'. This is perhaps why, the Americans find it hard to tolerate holding a conversation with Asians who 'beat around the bush'.
With these differences being the barrier between a good relationship, its no wonder how a relationship between two individuals of different cultural background would have trouble finding a conflict sytle that suits both parties.
As i've mentioned, from what I noticed back in my childhood days, boys would tend to approach conflicts differently compared to girls. Studies have proven that children from preschool up to early adolscence have noticed that boys are more likely to be aggressive, demanding and competitive, whereas, girls would suggest propals for action. Verbal aggression and expressing themselves physically are some of the ways boys 'solve' conflicts. Moreover, the girls would scream, throw tantrums and most annoyingly whine.
However, these differences between both sexes still continue as we grow as adults. Men seem to think they have to sustain their ego and power by expressing themselves physically and worst yet, we have to endure listening to them cuss their way through frustration. Whats up with that? Alright, I do have a thing for cocky, 'men' men who occasionally swears to vent out, but all the time? It might be asking too much to sit down and listen but, we, women would love it if men talk. At least its a dyadic communication. Metacommunication is rare in relationships but it helps a lot at times. Although, men can't always be blamed as women too have their major flaws. During excruciating times in the relationships, women too would use verbal abuse, get physical and one of our main habits is to give the cold shoulder.
Furthermore, conflict not only ignites difficulty in communicating because of differences in gender, however, culture also plays an influential role on conflict. It is known ethinicty shapes a communicator's preferred conflict style ,whereby, those with strong cultural identitites tend to communicate more with those of the weaker cultural ties. The assertiveness between these two cultures differs too as the low-context culture and high-context culture is another factor that sets them apart. Low-context culture finds it very important that when communicating, messages should be direct and lateral, whereas, the high-context culture values self-restraint and has a tendency to 'beat around the bush'. This is perhaps why, the Americans find it hard to tolerate holding a conversation with Asians who 'beat around the bush'.
With these differences being the barrier between a good relationship, its no wonder how a relationship between two individuals of different cultural background would have trouble finding a conflict sytle that suits both parties.
Monday, February 16, 2009
gIrLs & cOnFliCtS
Girls and Conflicts
Girls and conflicts are unseparatable force. In high school and college, the ringleaders are often the girls with the highest value of socialising or the most popular girl among her peers. These girls can use the power they achieve with their status as a toll of mass destruction. The effect can be the same as US launching a nuclear attack on Iraq. These girls are able to control and manipulate other girls in the group and outside. As a form of relational aggression they bad-mouth other girls behind their back. Calling them names such as” whore, bitch, slut, fat”. Their main objective is tarnishing the other girl’s reputation or bringing them down in the eye of the boys.
A study conducted by Lawrence Owens, Phillip Slee, and Rosalyn Shute in School Psychology International, (2000, Volume 21, Issue 4) showed that girls participated in aggressive encounters for the following reasons:
· Boredom
· Lack of excitement
· Inclusion in the right group
· Self-protection
· Jealousy over appearance and close friendships
· Competition for boys
· Revenge
· Friendship
When Girls Become Targets of Relational Aggression
The "initial effect of an aggressive attack is confusion". As a result, girls feel:
· Embarrassed
· Angry
· Worried
· Lonely
· Self-conscious
· Betrayed
· Sad
· Depressed
Feeling overwhelmed, girls cover up their feelings, blame their selves, and deny the experience ever happened. All of these responses indicate the seriousness of this problem in girls’ perceptions of their selves and their relationships.
- Chirag Mehta-
Girls and conflicts are unseparatable force. In high school and college, the ringleaders are often the girls with the highest value of socialising or the most popular girl among her peers. These girls can use the power they achieve with their status as a toll of mass destruction. The effect can be the same as US launching a nuclear attack on Iraq. These girls are able to control and manipulate other girls in the group and outside. As a form of relational aggression they bad-mouth other girls behind their back. Calling them names such as” whore, bitch, slut, fat”. Their main objective is tarnishing the other girl’s reputation or bringing them down in the eye of the boys.
A study conducted by Lawrence Owens, Phillip Slee, and Rosalyn Shute in School Psychology International, (2000, Volume 21, Issue 4) showed that girls participated in aggressive encounters for the following reasons:
· Boredom
· Lack of excitement
· Inclusion in the right group
· Self-protection
· Jealousy over appearance and close friendships
· Competition for boys
· Revenge
· Friendship
When Girls Become Targets of Relational Aggression
The "initial effect of an aggressive attack is confusion". As a result, girls feel:
· Embarrassed
· Angry
· Worried
· Lonely
· Self-conscious
· Betrayed
· Sad
· Depressed
Feeling overwhelmed, girls cover up their feelings, blame their selves, and deny the experience ever happened. All of these responses indicate the seriousness of this problem in girls’ perceptions of their selves and their relationships.
- Chirag Mehta-
Barack Obama :)
President Obama may be the best straight out communicator, we the public, have seen in a long time. Much effort will be given to dissect his ability in this area and even more time will be spent comparing him to MLK, the Kennedys, Cicero and Ronald Reagan among others.
So what does my aversion to hope as a strategy have to do with Barack Obama’s rhetoric skills you ask? I HOPE that instead of revering him for his communication prowess that the young and old will strive to do something about their own skill set. I am buoyed by the masses waking up the morning after the inauguration with good intentions of volunteering, giving money and becoming community activists. However, those same people still need to get jobs, make friends, find/keep mates, raise children, influence coworkers, acquire bank loans and so on and so on and so on.
Barack Obama is smart, kind, devoted, driven, and a host of other positive adjectives that could describe countless other people in this country. Why does he stand out above so many others? Because he has the ability to demonstrate those qualities to the people around him. Because he can COMMUNICATE.
So what does my aversion to hope as a strategy have to do with Barack Obama’s rhetoric skills you ask? I HOPE that instead of revering him for his communication prowess that the young and old will strive to do something about their own skill set. I am buoyed by the masses waking up the morning after the inauguration with good intentions of volunteering, giving money and becoming community activists. However, those same people still need to get jobs, make friends, find/keep mates, raise children, influence coworkers, acquire bank loans and so on and so on and so on.
Barack Obama is smart, kind, devoted, driven, and a host of other positive adjectives that could describe countless other people in this country. Why does he stand out above so many others? Because he has the ability to demonstrate those qualities to the people around him. Because he can COMMUNICATE.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
relational development and maintenance goes a long way....
Observing the Development Perspective model created by Mark Knapp, I've never been in awe of how simple a model could sum up a relationship's typical stages. Now, just by observing the many stages the Development Perspective model contains, I noticed that despite the rise and fall of relationships being divided into two major phases of 'coming together' and ' coming apart', there are many obstacles and miscommunication intertwined with the whole outcome in the end.
Its not as easy as it seems observing that to climb the model, there's only five levels in order to reach relational maintenance. Now, its definitely an understatement if i were to say that five levels does not mean that'll it'll be easy to achieve relational maintenance. However, its the total opposite, it is beyond difficult. Maintaining a relationship based on all the basic essentials is hard enough, but to ensure security when relational maintenance is achieved, thats harder. If you do not iniate, experiment, intensify, integrate and bond passionately, hence, downfall is where your relationship is heading.
Furthermore, there are also possibilities that during the 'coming apart' division, a couple may face a blessing in disguise behind all the arguments, tantrums, silent treatments. There are quite a few occassions where during certain stages of the 'coming apart' division a couple may suddenly may take a turn for the better. For example, during the differentiating stage, gaining privacy from one another allows both parties to indulge in their own activities once in a while. Thus, this may help boost the amount of space both parties are willing to sacrifice which symbolizes respect for one to not feel too restricted. This will also allow both parties to engage in new interesting conversations since they are not doing EVERYTHING together.
However, some may remain at the stagnate stage for quite a while due to various reasons. At the point where a relationship is heading downhill, some may not even make it till the terminating stage. This usually happens when children is an issue. With this, for the sake of the kids, termination may not be the solution, in fact it will continue with the relational maintenance level. Many couples at this stage usually try to work something out and through compromising and trying to consider each other feelings more often for the sake of the children, the process may yet spark an old flame between each other.
Overall, a maintaining a balance is extremely important as with the right communication skills, intimacy and self-disclosure you might just be able to achieve relational maintenance and still wake up to the same love one with the same love you had for them since the beginning.
Nor Fatin Suraiya
Its not as easy as it seems observing that to climb the model, there's only five levels in order to reach relational maintenance. Now, its definitely an understatement if i were to say that five levels does not mean that'll it'll be easy to achieve relational maintenance. However, its the total opposite, it is beyond difficult. Maintaining a relationship based on all the basic essentials is hard enough, but to ensure security when relational maintenance is achieved, thats harder. If you do not iniate, experiment, intensify, integrate and bond passionately, hence, downfall is where your relationship is heading.
Furthermore, there are also possibilities that during the 'coming apart' division, a couple may face a blessing in disguise behind all the arguments, tantrums, silent treatments. There are quite a few occassions where during certain stages of the 'coming apart' division a couple may suddenly may take a turn for the better. For example, during the differentiating stage, gaining privacy from one another allows both parties to indulge in their own activities once in a while. Thus, this may help boost the amount of space both parties are willing to sacrifice which symbolizes respect for one to not feel too restricted. This will also allow both parties to engage in new interesting conversations since they are not doing EVERYTHING together.
However, some may remain at the stagnate stage for quite a while due to various reasons. At the point where a relationship is heading downhill, some may not even make it till the terminating stage. This usually happens when children is an issue. With this, for the sake of the kids, termination may not be the solution, in fact it will continue with the relational maintenance level. Many couples at this stage usually try to work something out and through compromising and trying to consider each other feelings more often for the sake of the children, the process may yet spark an old flame between each other.
Overall, a maintaining a balance is extremely important as with the right communication skills, intimacy and self-disclosure you might just be able to achieve relational maintenance and still wake up to the same love one with the same love you had for them since the beginning.
Nor Fatin Suraiya
solving problems in groups.
its never easy workin in groups,you encounter all kinds of problems and issues and because we are different people, the way we deal with stress or obstacles may vary a lot. another thing is some people may be more outspoken than others and others are very quiet and timid. personally,thats where the first najo problems occur in groups. people may bot be happy with the way things are goin but instead of communicatin their problem they keep it inside only to let their dissatisfaction turn to annoyance and thyen to anger and it wells up inside you taht when you do suddnly explode you can destro a lot of relationships with your group memebers. some peopl jus may not know the right way to express themselves and thats why they keep things inside. but the thing is we have to do,we have to talk bout the things that bother us when in a group, they cant guess whats wrong and it will ultimately affect the progress of the group itself. thats where learnin various problem solvin techniques helps in life. but its never easy attackin the problem head on. one as to plan and strategise the way to put it delicately so as not to offend the fellow group memebers. and believe me its never easy. livin in an appartment with friends well guys that i met here in malaysia isnt easy. you think you know the person long enough but life will alway throw you curves balls. there's always one issue after the other,maybe ine person isnt pullin their weight with the cleaning up,or the next person is always late with their part of the rent or someone doesnt help with the cookin, or maybe one person brings over too many friends who leave the place in a mess....every week we face all kind of problems,and for me bein the youngest uyet very outspoken sometimes it takes alil extra to be heard in our house! lol...but you see,thats where plannin and havin a careful aproach to it helps. you can explain your problem and you wont sound the least bit unfair or irrational in your explanation. also its good to have solutions to bring t the discussion that way whenn solvin the problem everyone in the group can bring forward their ideas and its easier to work on the problem. another problem we might encounte in groups is that we may find the leader unfair or worst case scenario the leader is lackin the qualities to be a good leader?!?!?! trust me its extremely possible...our group leader at camp was.....pathetic to say the least?!!? haha!!! what many people dont realise is that respect is earned not taken...if you're a leader then its imperative to remember that you treat your peers with respect and never try to be a tyrant...but at the same time dont be too passive or the team will simply fall into your ways and there wont be any progress made...and we dont want that now do we?!?!!? hahahhahaha...trust me at camp our leader was a little less than inspired!!! lol.
bala sepiso made
its never easy workin in groups,you encounter all kinds of problems and issues and because we are different people, the way we deal with stress or obstacles may vary a lot. another thing is some people may be more outspoken than others and others are very quiet and timid. personally,thats where the first najo problems occur in groups. people may bot be happy with the way things are goin but instead of communicatin their problem they keep it inside only to let their dissatisfaction turn to annoyance and thyen to anger and it wells up inside you taht when you do suddnly explode you can destro a lot of relationships with your group memebers. some peopl jus may not know the right way to express themselves and thats why they keep things inside. but the thing is we have to do,we have to talk bout the things that bother us when in a group, they cant guess whats wrong and it will ultimately affect the progress of the group itself. thats where learnin various problem solvin techniques helps in life. but its never easy attackin the problem head on. one as to plan and strategise the way to put it delicately so as not to offend the fellow group memebers. and believe me its never easy. livin in an appartment with friends well guys that i met here in malaysia isnt easy. you think you know the person long enough but life will alway throw you curves balls. there's always one issue after the other,maybe ine person isnt pullin their weight with the cleaning up,or the next person is always late with their part of the rent or someone doesnt help with the cookin, or maybe one person brings over too many friends who leave the place in a mess....every week we face all kind of problems,and for me bein the youngest uyet very outspoken sometimes it takes alil extra to be heard in our house! lol...but you see,thats where plannin and havin a careful aproach to it helps. you can explain your problem and you wont sound the least bit unfair or irrational in your explanation. also its good to have solutions to bring t the discussion that way whenn solvin the problem everyone in the group can bring forward their ideas and its easier to work on the problem. another problem we might encounte in groups is that we may find the leader unfair or worst case scenario the leader is lackin the qualities to be a good leader?!?!?! trust me its extremely possible...our group leader at camp was.....pathetic to say the least?!!? haha!!! what many people dont realise is that respect is earned not taken...if you're a leader then its imperative to remember that you treat your peers with respect and never try to be a tyrant...but at the same time dont be too passive or the team will simply fall into your ways and there wont be any progress made...and we dont want that now do we?!?!!? hahahhahaha...trust me at camp our leader was a little less than inspired!!! lol.
bala sepiso made
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Presentations
Finally, the presentation is over...
start counting from secondary school until now, i can said that, there are quite a number of presentation i have done. but, none of them are good presentation. however, i can also see that there are a few improvement on my presentation. last time, i was very nervous when i am ask to speak in front of so many people. now, i can say that I'm already use to it although u can see that I'm still acting a little bit of nervous when i am speaking in front of a crowd.
non-verbal communication is very important when giving a presentation. the body language and eyes contact that we use with the audience are very important. when we are performing on the stage, we can actually just pretend that the audience are not exist. this is because we don't need too much contact with the audience. however, when we are giving speech and presentation in front of so many people, we have to make a contact with the audience and let them paying attention to us. therefore, lectures always said that when giving a presentation or a speech, we should also use up your body language to a make a contact with the audience.
we can see that every time when a person is giving a speech or a presentation in front of the crowd, the audience will not paying attention to the speaker but sleep, yon, chat in a group or whispering with each other. the action of the audience are actually proving that the speaker aren't interesting enough and he is not good enough by bringing the audience back to his attention. besides of non-verbal language, we must also attach to the key point that we are trying to say and avoiding telling 'grandmother' stories.
Based on my observation through every presentation, i really hink that a contat making with the audience is the most imprtant thing. i hope that my presentation skills will keep improving so that i could become a good speaker.
History of Valentine's
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, lovers everywhere celebrate St. Valentine's Day with candy, cards, and flowers. Children bring home bags full of cards. Conversation hearts with "Be Mine" and "2Cute" and other such messages are favorite seasonal snacks all in the name of Saint Valentine. But why do we do this on St. Valentine's Day, and why in February?
Well, February has been associated with romance since the time
of the ancient Romans. There are three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, and none of their lives had happy endings.The most probable candidate for THE St. Valentine was a third-century priest in Rome. Emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage for young men because he realized single men made better soldiers. Valentinus felt that this was an unjust law, and he performed secret marriages for young lovers in defiance of Claudius. When this was discovered, Valentinus was put to death.
According to legend, while Valentinus was in prison awaiting his death, he fell in love with a young woman, who may have been the daughter of his jailor. He sent her a letter, which he signed, "From your Valentine," and we still use that expression to this day.
But while some people claim that Valentine's Day is celebrated in February to honor the saint who died on that day, in truth the Romans were having a celebration of love at this time of year long before Valentine met his fate. The holiday was called Lupercalia, and it celebrated what the Romans recognized as the beginning of Spring, on February 15, which is the Ides of February. Like most spring festivals, Lupercalia was a fertility festival. As part of the festival, the single women would put their names in a big urn. The eligible men would draw a name, and be paired with that woman for a year. Often, these year-long pairings ended in marriage. Of course, the Church disapproved of this "lottery" system of living together, so in 498 AD Pope Gelasius followed the usual tradition of creating a Christian holiday to replace a pagan one. But the association with love and romance remained.
~Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Greetings..
It is chinese new year and I've been busy back in hometown..
In my hometown, they speak different types of languages.. the younger and the older ones.. even my little niece and nephew =D..
The small ones normally expressed themselves through emotions and facial expressions..normally by crying or screaming.. One of my nephew even sh*tted on the floor !! omg
My uncles and aunties would speak hokkien dialect instead.. its fun to have different type of chinese dialect.. for me.. i would prefer to mix them =D
Happy CNY everyone!
Steven Chan
Sunday, February 1, 2009
interpersonal communication
communication between two people has got to be one of the hardest things to do when communicating. its easier when you are among a group but when its jus two people everything becomes different. first of all one has to determine who this will be more important to in the long run you see. i mean take datin for instance...there are certain levels and codes of conduct you have to stick to before gettin to the point of where you two are deemed a "couple". and thats where communication comes in. everything you do now matters and varies...you have to determine the distance you can keep,compared to the first time you meet a potential date and to maybe when you're on your fourth date. the distance will be considerably different,the intimacy definitely...she'l allow ou to hold her hand,hug her maybe light kisses on her neck...that kind of intimacy which normally wouldnt be acceptable on the first date. what also influences the rate at which the physical side of this relationship will grow is culture. whatever influence culture has on the two people at heart they will certainly take into consideration when the guy is "making his move".
but with communication it doesnt jus end there. after courtin the lady,we now have to maintain the relationship dont we? and what does entail us keepin the relationship alive? some say the dialectical perspectives" do help. these offer a connection and autonomy to the person. in every healthy relationship,people need their space and their time together. if this didnt happen or perhaps one happened more than the other the spark would surely fizzle out. also,what i feel is the most controversial of all,keepin secrets from each other. the thing is how do we decide what secrets to keep,and are we sure that keepin that secret is the right thing to do? do we sometimes underestimate the magnamity of the secret? i feel that the thing with keepin secrets it always starts of with the small ones and soon they become big secrets...and people do this only because they are afraid to reveal their true selves to their better half...but really,if they are with you already,why would they not like you for you!??! the thing is we are human...only human,so we are flawed,no doubt bout that. and sometimes we can see our flaws,and sometimes it takes someone else to see thing bout us that we dont see...or vice versa,we may see things bout someone else that they themselves dont see of themselves...the hidden and unknown self. it all depends on what we choose to show the next person..but sometimes even if we try hide that to them...they may jus see it for themselves.
bala sepiso made
communication between two people has got to be one of the hardest things to do when communicating. its easier when you are among a group but when its jus two people everything becomes different. first of all one has to determine who this will be more important to in the long run you see. i mean take datin for instance...there are certain levels and codes of conduct you have to stick to before gettin to the point of where you two are deemed a "couple". and thats where communication comes in. everything you do now matters and varies...you have to determine the distance you can keep,compared to the first time you meet a potential date and to maybe when you're on your fourth date. the distance will be considerably different,the intimacy definitely...she'l allow ou to hold her hand,hug her maybe light kisses on her neck...that kind of intimacy which normally wouldnt be acceptable on the first date. what also influences the rate at which the physical side of this relationship will grow is culture. whatever influence culture has on the two people at heart they will certainly take into consideration when the guy is "making his move".
but with communication it doesnt jus end there. after courtin the lady,we now have to maintain the relationship dont we? and what does entail us keepin the relationship alive? some say the dialectical perspectives" do help. these offer a connection and autonomy to the person. in every healthy relationship,people need their space and their time together. if this didnt happen or perhaps one happened more than the other the spark would surely fizzle out. also,what i feel is the most controversial of all,keepin secrets from each other. the thing is how do we decide what secrets to keep,and are we sure that keepin that secret is the right thing to do? do we sometimes underestimate the magnamity of the secret? i feel that the thing with keepin secrets it always starts of with the small ones and soon they become big secrets...and people do this only because they are afraid to reveal their true selves to their better half...but really,if they are with you already,why would they not like you for you!??! the thing is we are human...only human,so we are flawed,no doubt bout that. and sometimes we can see our flaws,and sometimes it takes someone else to see thing bout us that we dont see...or vice versa,we may see things bout someone else that they themselves dont see of themselves...the hidden and unknown self. it all depends on what we choose to show the next person..but sometimes even if we try hide that to them...they may jus see it for themselves.
bala sepiso made
Saturday, January 31, 2009
greetings
it is a chinese new year again...omg!!
time past so fast...i still remember that we have just celebrated christmas and new year, and now already come to chinese new year.
so, what we gonna do when come to this celebrated day? especially when comes to chinese new year!
time past so fast...i still remember that we have just celebrated christmas and new year, and now already come to chinese new year.
so, what we gonna do when come to this celebrated day? especially when comes to chinese new year!
of course we have to greet people loudly with auspicious words or phrases...
we will wish them happy chinese new year, 'gong xi fa cai'(Congratulations and be prosperous) , 'nian nian you yu'(a wish for surpluses and bountiful harvests every year).....and etc. we also wish the birthday stars happy b'day, merry christmas when christmas are coming and so on.
instead of greeting people aurally, we can also greet them by sending
or giving them a greeting cards. cards with beautiful, creative and meaningful pictures always talks more than what we say. besides, giving cards to the other can also mean more than that. human are always forgetful, they will always forget what they have said or what people have said. with a greeting card, they can feel what you are trying to say and they can even keep it as a memorable things. as we can see, greeting cards are now playing quite an important role.on the other hands, media are also taking an important role too. SMS, MMS, internet are also very useful now also....we can see that differents types of greeting all over the world.
wish all of you Happy Chinese New Year!!
Human
I wonder why human is such a omplicated living organisms?
besides, why are human was created to be such an intelligent animal.
starting from the very begining, we come here without anything... without name, money and status; at the end we leave this world without anything too. but, why are we chasing all the materialistic things while we can't bring it together when we leave.
However, the fact is, we can't leave in this world without all these things.
when we are getting older and older, our perceptions to this world are getting different and different.
Human have a lot quetions that can't be solve.
i will ask, why human need to talk in language; why are there different languages in this world; different colors of people in this world; why are the white always on top of the black; why someone need to be a leader in the different sector or country; why there are different of personalities/character in every single human; why is the earth is round and not square,not triangle; why every one has a name...and many many more questions....where are all these questions actually come from??
human have many problems, and of course, human create problems too.
human also have many thinking, including good and bad, positive and negative.
human have different kinds of feelings too, angry, sad, happy and etc.
human have diseases and psychological problems too...
everyday, we have to think that what to do today, tomorrow, what to plan this year, year after this....and so on. this will never end until the dya that we are ready to leave this.
Now, can you see that how complicated is human being?!
besides, why are human was created to be such an intelligent animal.
starting from the very begining, we come here without anything... without name, money and status; at the end we leave this world without anything too. but, why are we chasing all the materialistic things while we can't bring it together when we leave.
However, the fact is, we can't leave in this world without all these things.
when we are getting older and older, our perceptions to this world are getting different and different.
Human have a lot quetions that can't be solve.
i will ask, why human need to talk in language; why are there different languages in this world; different colors of people in this world; why are the white always on top of the black; why someone need to be a leader in the different sector or country; why there are different of personalities/character in every single human; why is the earth is round and not square,not triangle; why every one has a name...and many many more questions....where are all these questions actually come from??
human have many problems, and of course, human create problems too.
human also have many thinking, including good and bad, positive and negative.
human have different kinds of feelings too, angry, sad, happy and etc.
human have diseases and psychological problems too...
everyday, we have to think that what to do today, tomorrow, what to plan this year, year after this....and so on. this will never end until the dya that we are ready to leave this.
Now, can you see that how complicated is human being?!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
non verbal communication
well...this has got to be the most confusin and controversial form of communication today. as a young person im sure my fellow peers can relate to what im sayin. its always hard to figure out the next person's feelings,say you like someone and you jus dont know how they feel. what they tell you is one thing but the way they act...well actions speak louder than words right? you can always pick up on what one person is feelin by their facial expressions,the way hey act around you or simply the things they do.
comin from differnt cultures though is when the lines get a little blurred. take for instance my situation,where i come from the youth when you like someone you're extremely open with your feelings,and well its reciprocated but here away from home its much more different. the P.D.A's are much more limited and well you have to take your time to get know what one really feels for you cos they jus dont give away much from their actions or non verbal communication. everyhting is now different,the proximics, the kind of touch and the chronemics...its all different now and in one word its much more reserved.
so personally i think the greatest influence on non verbal communication is culture...our world is diverse and ever changin and thats what makes communication all the more interesting. i mean in france when greetin they kiss on the cheek right...but anywhere else that may not be acceptable...in japan that would be considered inappropriate. jus like how in japan its offensive to hold eye contact with someone for too long...they'd rather you look at their neck,but in america its a differen story all together...if you refused to hold one's gaxe they'd see you as untrustworty.
so it all depends on the culture,nonverbal communication can be simple or it can be oyur worst nightmare...it only depends on how much you're willin to see...
bala seppiso made
well...this has got to be the most confusin and controversial form of communication today. as a young person im sure my fellow peers can relate to what im sayin. its always hard to figure out the next person's feelings,say you like someone and you jus dont know how they feel. what they tell you is one thing but the way they act...well actions speak louder than words right? you can always pick up on what one person is feelin by their facial expressions,the way hey act around you or simply the things they do.
comin from differnt cultures though is when the lines get a little blurred. take for instance my situation,where i come from the youth when you like someone you're extremely open with your feelings,and well its reciprocated but here away from home its much more different. the P.D.A's are much more limited and well you have to take your time to get know what one really feels for you cos they jus dont give away much from their actions or non verbal communication. everyhting is now different,the proximics, the kind of touch and the chronemics...its all different now and in one word its much more reserved.
so personally i think the greatest influence on non verbal communication is culture...our world is diverse and ever changin and thats what makes communication all the more interesting. i mean in france when greetin they kiss on the cheek right...but anywhere else that may not be acceptable...in japan that would be considered inappropriate. jus like how in japan its offensive to hold eye contact with someone for too long...they'd rather you look at their neck,but in america its a differen story all together...if you refused to hold one's gaxe they'd see you as untrustworty.
so it all depends on the culture,nonverbal communication can be simple or it can be oyur worst nightmare...it only depends on how much you're willin to see...
bala seppiso made
Monday, January 26, 2009
the bizarreness of communication
There is more to prophecy than we know aside from that it also happens to be where Harry Potter's poor, poor future lies. What revolves around us though, non-magical equipped people, is the self-fullfilling prophecy which influences communication. Now talk about overly powerful! To live, not only do we need the basic essentials such as food, shelter, clothes, food and everything thats mentioned on the Maslow's Hierachy of Needs but communication which is too one of the most important skills needed to climb the top of the hierachy.
According to Adler and Rodman's book of Understanding Human Communication, self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when a person's expectation of an outcome makes the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true. To put this in perfect english, it simply means that if you're already expecting success, thus the confidence might just bag you the goal within reach. However, it may also be vice versa. For example, a explanation by a peer about a certain task and mentioning how you might not be able to fulfill the standards it requires causes you to actually not do well in the end. In the situation given, the respective results happen perhaps because you were discouraged by the level of expectation one has of you. Thus, you did not perform well. Overall, these two types of self-fulfilling prophecies which compromises of when your own expectations influences your behaviour and when expectations of one govern another's actions only occurs as each result happens due to the expectation that it would happen.
Furthermore, acceptance of an remark or evaluation, may also trigger change to their self-concepts in order to include that evaluation. For example, if a teacher sends the message, "Your dumb," you might take it as a challenge and prove the teacher wrongly. Therefore, there are certainly times where you cannot expect a certain expectation to result from a certain situation. Weather, drawing an ace in a card game, etc are some examples to reflect on.Thus, expectations are only what they are because you are a good predictor, not because of the whole self-fulfilling concept.
Nor Fatin Suraiya
According to Adler and Rodman's book of Understanding Human Communication, self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when a person's expectation of an outcome makes the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true. To put this in perfect english, it simply means that if you're already expecting success, thus the confidence might just bag you the goal within reach. However, it may also be vice versa. For example, a explanation by a peer about a certain task and mentioning how you might not be able to fulfill the standards it requires causes you to actually not do well in the end. In the situation given, the respective results happen perhaps because you were discouraged by the level of expectation one has of you. Thus, you did not perform well. Overall, these two types of self-fulfilling prophecies which compromises of when your own expectations influences your behaviour and when expectations of one govern another's actions only occurs as each result happens due to the expectation that it would happen.
Furthermore, acceptance of an remark or evaluation, may also trigger change to their self-concepts in order to include that evaluation. For example, if a teacher sends the message, "Your dumb," you might take it as a challenge and prove the teacher wrongly. Therefore, there are certainly times where you cannot expect a certain expectation to result from a certain situation. Weather, drawing an ace in a card game, etc are some examples to reflect on.Thus, expectations are only what they are because you are a good predictor, not because of the whole self-fulfilling concept.
Nor Fatin Suraiya
listening
listening.
i thin we as humans are a very selfish species. we want things to go our way and if for one second they dont go our way...all hell breaks loose. but have w ever really taken the time to step back and instead of fighitn for what we want,jus listen to what the next person is sayin?? that kind of communicatiob has got to b the most productive one because listening emphatically can help put you in someone else shoes and that way we all learn and get to understand more about others and importatnyl about ourselves. the problem with our communiaction is that we have so many prejudices and bias towards many people our base emotions all too often cloud the better judgement of our choices...thats why you get many different kinds of listeners like pseudolisteners,selective listeners and defensive listeners among others.
also often most people confuse listnein and hearin...the difference bein that when you listen to someone you're supposed to understand what they say,the importance of their message and respond in a way that benefits your communication...but all too often inmamny cases when our parebts lecture us,when havin a conversation with our partners,when in class....we hear but very rarely do we LISTEN. When it comes down to it,snt that why there's all this conflict in the world...i mean it all starts with the smalll things,you dont pay attention to your lover...the relationship falls to the wayside...then it gets bigger,its put on a much larger scale,people in position of power dont listen to the needs of the people,so we have war,we have economcal problems..and still they wont listen to the needs of others...so listening im sure you can all see is quite essential to cmmunication...if not even the survival of the human race...in more ways than one. balamanja sepiso made
i thin we as humans are a very selfish species. we want things to go our way and if for one second they dont go our way...all hell breaks loose. but have w ever really taken the time to step back and instead of fighitn for what we want,jus listen to what the next person is sayin?? that kind of communicatiob has got to b the most productive one because listening emphatically can help put you in someone else shoes and that way we all learn and get to understand more about others and importatnyl about ourselves. the problem with our communiaction is that we have so many prejudices and bias towards many people our base emotions all too often cloud the better judgement of our choices...thats why you get many different kinds of listeners like pseudolisteners,selective listeners and defensive listeners among others.
also often most people confuse listnein and hearin...the difference bein that when you listen to someone you're supposed to understand what they say,the importance of their message and respond in a way that benefits your communication...but all too often inmamny cases when our parebts lecture us,when havin a conversation with our partners,when in class....we hear but very rarely do we LISTEN. When it comes down to it,snt that why there's all this conflict in the world...i mean it all starts with the smalll things,you dont pay attention to your lover...the relationship falls to the wayside...then it gets bigger,its put on a much larger scale,people in position of power dont listen to the needs of the people,so we have war,we have economcal problems..and still they wont listen to the needs of others...so listening im sure you can all see is quite essential to cmmunication...if not even the survival of the human race...in more ways than one. balamanja sepiso made
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